Friday, February 8, 2013

4th and Long

Where the Bad Boys Go
By Caleb Musselman

            When I was a wee laddy I used to go to a friend’s house a few times a week. As 8 year-old boys, we were in heaven. We played cowboys and indians, cops and robbers, Eagles and Cowboys, etc. In our next phase, three or four of us would jump on the trampoline for hours on end. We’d start out jumping, then start kicking, and every time we would end up wrestling, punching and clawing. Eventually, like a tickle fight, it would turn from extremely fun to unbearably terrible in a matter of seconds. Mrs. Mom would come outside and give us the speech: “If you guys don’t cut it out, everyone is going home. If you can’t play nice, then you can’t play at all.”
Photo Cred www.mit.zimfs.com
            This dreaded speech whipped us into shape quicker than a smoothie in a blender. We went from trying to kill each other to sticking up for each other in an instant. Why? Because we understood the consequences! Now, you’re wondering how I’m going to relate this to the NFL. Read on.
            During Super Bowl XLVII, a few tussles broke out between the Ravens and the 49ers. The boys were playing but things were becoming touch and go. Near the middle of the second quarter, tempers began to boil over. During this extended shoving match, Cary Williams, the undisputed trash talk king, decided to rip his helmet off and throw a fit. Williams, who would lose the quiet game against a murder of crows, began shoving players left and right.....and left again. In fact, he became so handsy that when a referee tried to hold him back, he shoved him too! Check it out.
            In other news, Williams was not flagged on this play. However, what was called were two offsetting personal fouls, one on each team. Now, this was a borderline brawl. Players were tackled to the ground, helmets were ripped off; and offsetting personal fouls is a legitimate penalty for this nonsense? Here it is. If I punch you, and you punch me, we’ll just act like it didn’t happen and move on with the game. Basketball has the technical, soccer has the yellow/red card, and hockey has the penalty box. A change needs to happen THIS offseason to make amends to this travesty in the game.
Photo Cred www.premiershiptalk.com
            I have a few different ideas on the subject but I will speak about the most realistic of my ideas.
Solution - The Box of Shame
            Very similar to hockey, I’m advocating a “timeout” corner for NFL players. What does this look like? Well if player A hits player B he sits out for two plays. If player B hits player A back they both sit for two plays. Pretty simple stuff people. Now for more severe instances, a possible man down situation could be called upon. In my solution, a series of shoves after the play (one or two) would warrant a 2 play penalty. Further, a post-whistle blow to the head would warrant a 5 play penalty. Worst of all, an after play tackle or helmet dislodging or something along these lines would result in a 5 play man down system. These are simple ideas but further expounded upon seem to work very well in theory. In addition, every other major contact sport has some type of disciplinary action that causes players to think twice about throwing that extra punch. Why should the NFL, our most physical sporting league, be the exception?
           
Photo Cred www.sportsdork000.files.wordpress.com
            Good gravy. Can you imagine the excitement and thrill of throwing this type of curveball into the NFL? Can you imagine how much cleaner the post-whistle game would become? Can you envision a world where offsetting penalties no longer exist? I know it seems too good to be true, but if me and my elementary friends are held to a certain standard, why shouldn’t athletes who get paid millions to run, jump, tackle and do the dougie in the end zone be subject to at least those same standards?
            As the years pass and the NFL continues to get more physical in nearly every aspect, the NFL must find ways to contain the unbridled physicality of the post-whistle game. Can you imagine seeing Cary Williams pouting on the sideline while Kaepernick throws a game winning touchdown to Crabtree? Or Asante Samuel throwing a fit on the bench while his opponent catches a jump ball TD? These are beautiful pictures, my friends, and they could be yours if Mr. Goodell puts on his thinking cap. Remove the offsetting penalties from the game. Toss them into the depths of the sea never to be heard from again. And in its place? The box of shame. #boxofshame

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